


I'll Always Be With You

by infinitestarsintheskye



Series: Steggy Week 2019 [7]
Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Steggy Week 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-10 05:09:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19900330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infinitestarsintheskye/pseuds/infinitestarsintheskye
Summary: Written for steggyfanevents Steggy Week 2019 for the prompt:Free Choice. This is your classic Peggy was Pregnant when Steve went into the ice, but with a nice little twist.





	I'll Always Be With You

**Author's Note:**

> Well boys it is the end of Steggy Week and I have pulled out all of the stops for this fic. You should (hopefully) laugh, cry and go "awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww" by the time you've finished reading. Enjoy!

Steve’s plane going down was one of the most difficult moments of Peggy Carter’s life. He was gone. He was really gone. When finally, the tears had stopped being able to flow, and she felt capable of stringing words into a sentence again, she found Colonel Phillips and put in a formal request for three weeks leave. She needed to get away, to grieve and she couldn’t do that when everything around her, right down to the uniform she wore, reminded her of Steve. Phillips granted the leave right there and then, telling Peggy to take as much time as she needed. 

It was difficult to think of a place on allied soil that wouldn’t remind her of him, they had been almost everywhere together, rooting out Hydra. Eventually she settled on London. She still had a small flat there, and home felt like the best place for a source of comfort. When she arrived, the place was a mess, her belongings strewn all over the floor, thanks to the bombings that had taken place all around her building. Taking a deep sigh, she set down her suitcase next to the bed, and began picking up the various items which now littered her floor. For the first week or so she set about putting the flat into some sort of order, giving it as deep a clean as she could with the limited supplies that were going around. If she was being honest with herself it was just busy work, something to do to stop her thinking about everything and breaking down completely. At the end of the first week she was exhausted to her bones and slept past nine am for the first time since she had been a teenager. 

Sadness began to creep in again during that second week. Just thinking about Steve made her feel sick to her stomach. She began to think about so many different scenarios, what could have happened if he had come back, what had happened to him when his connection cut out. Peggy very quickly learnt to shut these thoughts down, expel them from her mind. She did not want to be all consumed by grief; she did not want it to touch every inch of her body, but it did. For two days after her cleaning frenzy Peggy shut down almost completely. She just lay in bed and allowed every feeling imaginable to wash over her, anger, sadness and the overwhelming feeling of love she felt for a man who was gone. On the third morning of this she woke up feeling quite ill again and decided she couldn’t go on like this. She had to live her life, if not for herself, but to continue the work Steve had started, to end the war and to eradicate Hydra from the face of the planet. There was still a permanent feeling of sadness inside her, but also there was a fire, built of anger and determination which was ready to avenge Steve’s death. 

By the start of the third week, Peggy had managed to get herself into something resembling a routine. No matter how long she slept, she still woke up every morning exhausted, sick to her stomach. She pinned it down to the toll of grief for a few days. When Michael had died, she could barely move she felt so exhausted, but she never felt so very ill. She put it down to shock, and the fact that the love she felt for Steve was very different from what she felt towards her brother, not less in anyway, just different. Her head finally began to give way for happy memories of Steve to come through, like the first time she saw him. He had been impressive to her even back then. He may have been small, but he was fiercely intelligent and compassionate. A good man. To say he had been impressive after the procedure would be an understatement of disproportionate amounts. Her cheeks flushed at the memory of him emerging out of that machine, looking like some Greek god, and being so flustered, reaching out and touching his chest. Then there had been that one night, just over a month ago. Steve had been sat in that godforsaken bombed out pub, mourning the loss of poor Bucky. They had talked for a while, before Peggy had offered to take him somewhere far more, well, whole, than their current surroundings. She had offered him her hand and he had taken it, and they walked hand in hand through the blackout streets of London. She had even managed to coax a small smile out of him on that walk home. For the life of her Peggy could not remember what she has said, but it was still a beautiful memory which she would treasure. She had brought him back to this flat, it must have been the last time she had been here before now. They had sat and drank at her small kitchen table, drinking what was left of an old bottle of whiskey Peggy had had on her shelf. She couldn’t remember how she had ended up on his lap, kissing him as if there was no tomorrow. What she did remember was pulling back and explaining that this definitely had not been her intention when she had first brought him here. She had just wanted to bring him somewhere safe, to somewhere that felt like a home, not a bomb crater. Things had escalated from there. She could still feel his grip on her thighs as he picked her up like she was nothing and carried her to the bed. She could still remember the feel of his hair as she ran her fingers through it. Peggy flushed as she remembered his touch, like the most delightful burn she ever felt. She remembered waking up before him the next morning, and watching his peaceful face, feeling his chest raise up and down next to hers, before kissing him awake, and having a repeat performance of the previous nights’ activities. Peggy smiled at the memory, vowing silently to treasure it forever. It was only a few moments later that a thought creeped into the back of Peggy’s head. What if. No. That was impossible. But then she’d been exhausted, and sick, but that was because of the stress, right? Peggy began counting dates back in her head, before stopping and placing her face in her hands, the tears she had kept at bay for so long now streaming out. 

Peggy knew she couldn’t go to an army doctor, if this was what she thought it was, then the army would have ulterior motives for helping her. She decided to go to the doctor she had been registered with before the war. He wouldn’t know the real consequences of his diagnosis, and then Peggy could handle it gently, if she was even correct at all. It was as she expected. Peggy walked out of the doctor’s office, white as a sheet, before taking the quickest route back to her flat. The second she got in she collapsed onto the bed and began to sob. She was carrying Steve’s child, their child, and he was dead. 

The first thing she did when she went back to work the next week was request a meeting with Colonel Phillips. She paced around his office for a moment, trying to think of how to say the words. 

“Well Carter?! I don’t have all damn day!” Phillips snapped in his usual manner. 

Peggy took a deep breath and began. 

“Well, Colonel, it would seem that I am carrying a child.” She finally said, twisting her hands as she did so. 

Phillips gave a large sigh and leaned back into his chair, muttering something that sounded like “Jesus Lord Almighty.” 

“Rogers?” He sighed with a tone of resignation. 

“Yes sir.” Peggy replied. 

“I would appreciate if you kept that particular piece of information from the top brass. I know what this may mean but I will not have my child become their science experiment.” Peggy said with a tone of defiance. 

Phillips sighed another heavy sigh.   
“  
I’m gonna have to tell them Carter. You can’t just magically disappear and then magically reappear in nine months with a blonde-haired blue-eyed baby who has a striking resemblance to Captain America.”

“Then what is it you propose we do?”

“I’ll tell the top brass only what they need to know. That you are going to have this child, that it is Captain Rogers, and if they try to interfere in anyway with the life of that child, so help me god they will think what we’ve been giving Hydra all these years was a picnic.”

Peggy’s eyes filled with tears. 

“Thank you, sir.” 

As she turned to go, Phillips spoke once more.   
“  
You understand that from this second onwards Carter, you are out of active duty. You will sit at a desk until the war is won or that baby comes out, whichever comes first.”

“Yes sir.”

Keeping a pregnancy hidden on a military base was not the easiest thing in the world to do, especially in a stiff uniform which had very little give. About a month after Peggy found out she was pregnant she had to give in and let out her uniform skirt, before it began to cut off circulation. She said a silent prayer every day for her girdle, which helped keep things under wraps so to speak, at least in the early months. Luckily for Peggy, VJ Day was celebrated not long after she entered her fourth month of pregnancy, when she was still able to somewhat hide her expanding midsection. It was a bittersweet day for Peggy, spent packing up the remnants of her desk at the base, coming across reminders of Steve every once in a while, that made her stomach jolt. When she came across the file which contained Steve’s photo, her stomach gave a jolt of a much different kind. She rubbed the spot where their baby had kicked and smiled, though tears ran down her face. 

“Yes, my darling, this is your father. He would have loved you so much, I just hope that somewhere, somehow, he knows about you, and about all of this too. We did it Steve. Look at what we made together.” The little baby in her belly gave another kick as she spoke quietly to it, still holding Steve’s picture, tears still rolling down her face. 

It wasn’t fair. He should be here, celebrating the end of the war. He did so much to help end it. It hurt Peggy too much to think about the fact that Steve would never know their child, so she focused that energy into making sure that their child knew their father. A few months after the war ended, Peggy found a place in Brooklyn. It seemed to be the right place to go. The SSR were setting up a base in the city anyway, so it made sense in more ways than one. Phillips had promised that her place would still be there for her whenever she wanted it, if she wanted to come back at all after the baby was born. She had given him a stern look after this particular comment, before telling him with some gusto that she would absolutely be returning to work as soon as she wanted to. Until then however, Peggy had more than enough funds, Howard, against every single one of Peggy’s protests, had bought the small house in Brooklyn in which she now resided. Howard said to consider it eighteen years of the baby’s birthday presents all in one go. Again, much against Peggy’s insistence, Phillips had arranged for her to receive a war widows’ pension, despite the fact that she and Steve had never been married. She never asked how he managed it but thanked him all the same. 

They held a funeral for Steve when Peggy was around six months pregnant. She had been hesitant about attending, her stomach all but impossible to conceal now. She did not want any attention to be brought to her pregnancy, especially not to the media, who would be attending the funeral in droves. However, this would be her last chance to say goodbye to him, and to get some closure. She found and altered a black dress which hid her bump a reasonable amount and managed to get a space near the back of the crowd at the funeral, as far away from the journalists and photographers as she could possibly get. Whichever army goon had organised this funeral ha clearly not known him very well at all, Peggy thought. All that was talked about was his military achievements, how he was a good soldier, but nothing personal, no mention of the good man behind Captain America, of the little guy who had just wanted to protect his country. There was no mention of the Steve that Peggy truly loved. She managed to slip away, unnoticed at the end of the ceremony, whispering a quiet goodbye to the man who she loved. 

Peggy’s life settled into a pattern as she got further into her pregnancy. She had come up with a good enough backstory to tell the neighbours, she and her late husband had a whirlwind romance during the war and this baby was the product of his last bit of leave before he went back to the front and was killed in action. She had looked into getting a wedding ring, just to add to the story, but her fingers had gotten so swollen that any ring that had fit her before, most definitely would not fit her now. Howard had come around one weekend, his bumbling butler Jarvis in tow, and helped her put together the baby’s room. Howard had sourced most of the items she had wanted and had pouted when Peggy absolutely put her foot down at any ‘improvements’ he thought he could make to the bassinet, or the crib or the changing table. The room was small, but it was cosy, decorated in white and light yellows. The picture of Steve that Peggy had conveniently stolen from the SSR file now sat in a frame on the dressing table, facing the crib. Peggy had made sure that he would still watch over their child in any way he could. 

By the time she was thirty-seven weeks pregnant, Peggy was very, very uncomfortable, and was very ready for the baby to be here already. Trying to get to sleep had been an absolute nightmare for the last month at least, the baby beginning to move, or kick, or press on every inch of her insides the moment she lay down. One night, just as Peggy had started to settle down and go to bed, there was a sharp knock at her door. She could not imagine who it would be at this time of night, figuring someone had got the wrong address and would realise this and leave shortly. But they did not. Just as Peggy had shut her eyes, the sharp knock rang out across the house again. Peggy sighed, opened her eyes, heaved herself up, waddled to her bedroom door, grabbing her dressing gown which hung on the hook of the door. 

“Howard if this is you escaping from some last night tryst or something, I will string you up by your ankles.” She shouted to the door, as she waddled towards it, pulling on her dressing gown. 

It was not Howard. When she pulled open the door, she audibly gasped. Steve Rogers was standing in her doorway.

“I’m dreaming. This is a dream. I’m going to wake up in a moment and this all will have been a dream.” She stammered. 

“I’m afraid not Peggy.” Steve said, smiling. 

“Steve?” She asked, tears beginning to fill up easily in her eyes. 

He nodded, and she reached out a hand, resting it on his face. She gave out a gasp when her fingertips grazed his skin, shock running through her that he was actually real, he was here. 

“How? How are you here my darling?” She asked, tears still rolling down her cheeks. 

“I’m afraid that’s a bit of a long story.” 

“I have a bit of a story for you too.” 

Peggy ushered him into the house and into the living room, turning lights on as he sat down on her couch. When she turned back to him, his eyes widened, and he looked as if he had been hit over the head. 

“Peggy, you’re-you’re…” He stammered. 

“Quite pregnant, yes, yes I am my darling.” She finished for him. 

He continued to look stunned beyond belief, and Peggy gave a small smile, tasting the tears that were still falling down her face, and took a seat next to him. 

“It’s your baby Steve. You’ve been gone about nine months.” She said quietly, taking his hand into hers.

There was a moment of quiet before Steve’s shoulders began to shake with sobs. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry Peggy.” He kept saying through the sobs. 

Peggy wrapped her arms around him as much as she could and held him. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for Steve, I didn’t know when you crashed that stupid plane.”

“But I did know. I knew you had kids, but I didn’t know one of them was mine. I would have given you my coordinates, I would have come straight back as soon as Tony invented these damn things.” He said, sitting up, not looking at her. 

Peggy slowly drew her arms back, and shifted to look at him, a look of utter bewilderment on her face. 

“What do you mean? Who’s Tony?” She asked. 

“Howard’s son.”

“Howard’s what?!”

“His son. Look Peggy everything I’m about to say to you will sound crazy, beyond crazy but I need you to know that I’m telling the truth.” 

He took her hand and told her everything. From being stuck in the ice for seventy years, to the Battle of New York, Ultron, Bucky, Thanos. Everything. Peggy sat in silence whilst Steve spoke, letting him get everything out. They sat in silence for a moment after he finished, both of them had tears falling down their face. 

“After all of that, after living in the future, you still came back here? Why?” Peggy asked breaking the silence. 

“I came back to be with you.”

“Oh, my darling.” Peggy gasped, tears flooding down her face now. 

“Sorry.” She gasped.

“I’m a little over emotional these days.” She said, gesturing to her protruding belly. 

Steve looked down at her stomach and smiled.

“Can I touch it?” He asked tentatively. 

“Of course! In fact, if you place your hand just here…” She took his hand and placed it on her stomach. 

“…you should feel it moving.”

Steve stared down at his hand wide eyed, and tears began to fill in his eyes again. 

“I’m so sorry Peg. For leaving you like this.” He sobbed. 

“But you didn’t leave. You are right here with us.”

It was a while before either of them got any sleep. Steve was enamoured with the small little thing moving inside Peggy’s belly, and Peggy was just so incredibly happy beyond belief that he was here, he was back and he was going to get to be a father to his child, that she really didn’t mind his gasps of wonder every time the baby kicked or somersaulted, or whatever it was doing in there. It was just a miracle that he was even here at all. 

The next few weeks were the quickest, and most amazing of Peggy’s life. Three weeks after Steve’s sudden arrival home, Sarah Jane Carter-Rogers came into the world after a gruelling twenty-hour labour. She was the most beautiful thing either of them had ever seen. She was so small and had a small tuft of blonde hair on her tiny little head. Seeing Steve hold her just made her look even smaller. He looked at his daughter with a look of awe and disbelief, like she was the most incredible thing to ever exist. It melted Peggy’s heart to see them together, rocking in chair next to her crib, falling asleep together on the couch, Sarah’s little head tucked underneath Steve’s chin, her little body barely falling past his breastbone. He was an amazing father, and he loved Sarah so much, just as she knew he would. 

When Sarah was three months old, Peggy put on her nicest dress, Steve put on his Sunday suit, and they marched down to the nearest register’s office, and asked if they could please get married today. The receptionist gave a judging glance down to baby Sarah asleep in her pram, before telling them to take a seat, and that someone would be with them shortly. So, on that Thursday afternoon, with a fussing Sarah perched on her hip, Margaret Carter married Steven Rogers. They did not mind the glances they got from everyone around them as they left, pushing a smiling Sarah out in her pram. They were just happy to be together. At last. So, they took their daughter home and did dinner, bath time and bed, as they did every night, before settling down for the evening themselves. 

“Goodnight, Mrs Rogers.” Steve whispered to her, just as he went to turn out the light. 

“Goodnight, Mr Carter.” Peggy replied with a smile. 

Steve smiled back, before Peggy caught his lips with her own. They knew they didn’t have long before Sarah woke up screaming for her next meal, but they didn’t mind. It was honestly enough that they had these small moments now. Even just a few months ago Peggy was wondering how she was going to juggle her work and a newborn, but when Steve turned up, all those fears melted away. She had someone, the most important and incredible someone as her partner for life and for that Peggy was eternally grateful. Life was bliss in the Carter-Rogers household, and Peggy and Steve would not have it any other way.


End file.
